If You Turn Your Back on Christ, Turn Again

Palm Sunday

We rarely think of ourselves as people who would abandon Christ – but we do it more often than we admit. We would all like to think of ourselves as the faithful disciples, the ones who never leave Jesus alone. However, if we are honest, there are many times when we run away from Jesus. We enter into a dynamic that has been oft repeated, from the very beginning of Christianity, even within the tight circle of Jesus’s Twelve Apostles.

We can look at Judas, at Peter, and – if we are honest – at ourselves.

Judas had followed Jesus for three years, just like all of the other Apostles. There are signs, however, that he became increasingly dissatisfied with how Jesus was fulfilling his messianic role. Betrayal rarely happens all at once. It begins with small compromises. The evangelist John accuses him of being a dishonest thief rather than a worthy disciple.

When Jesus mentions at the Last Supper that one of them will betray him, Judas pretends that he knows nothing about it. However, he had already made a deal with the Pharisees and leaders of the Temple to hand Jesus over to them for the cost of thirty silver coins.

Another figure, who surprises us in his betrayal, is the apostle Peter. Simon Peter has clearly been the leader of the apostles, and he often proclaims his love and devotion for Jesus. Peter’s betrayal is different. He truly loves Jesus, and still denies him. This is what makes his fall so revealing. It shows us that love for Christ does not eliminate weakness. Pope Benedict XVI reflects on this moment and shows us what Peter had to learn.

The school of faith is not a triumphal march but a journey marked daily by suffering and love, trials and faithfulness. Peter, who promised absolute fidelity, knew the bitterness and humiliation of denial: the arrogant man learns the costly lesson of humility. Peter, too, must learn that he is weak and in need of forgiveness (Pope Benedict XVI, 24 May 2006).

Humility or hypocrisy? Both Judas and Peter betray Jesus. The difference is not the sin; it is what happens next. Judas was already on a road of presenting himself one way to the world but being very different in his interior. Peter, on the other hand, always wore his heart on his sleeve and it was clear that he loved Jesus, in spite of his own moments of weakness or impetuousness.

This brings us to reflect on how we respond to Jesus. We too can be hypocrites or grow in humility through our own failings. When we fall and immediately look at someone else’s sins, we become like Judas: hiding. When we fall and return to Christ, we become like Peter: learning humility. The word “conversion” means to turn our minds and hearts back to God. This is the goal of our entire Christian life. When you turn your back on Christ, don’t stop. Keep turning until you are following Him again.