The story of the loyal mongoose comes to us from India. A farmer and his wife adopt a tiny pet mongoose to grow up alongside their baby son. One day, the mother goes out on some errands and leaves the mongoose at home near the baby’s cradle. A deadly snake enters the baby’s room and attacks the baby. The mongoose intervenes and saves the baby. When the mother returns, she finds blood on the mongoose’s mouth. She runs and kills the mongoose. When she sees the baby safe and the dead snake nearby, she recognizes her error and regrets killing the mongoose. Her story teaches us to think before acting and always seek the truth before taking irreversible actions. Anger is a lousy leader.
Anger as a Lousy Leader
We live in a culture that constantly gives us reasons to be angry. When we turn on the news, open social media, or look at our phones, we stumble across something designed to provoke a reaction. Anger gets attention. Outrage keeps us watching. Anger and fear are some of the best emotions for keeping us hooked.
But when we are angry, are we really in a place to be making the best decisions? We need to learn to take a step back and evaluate the situation more objectively, with less emotional attachment.
The United States bishops just put out a statement following the anniversary of the 2001 terror attack that calls for forgiveness and peace instead of fear and worry.
Courage is the proper response to fear, just as forgiveness is the best solution to anger.
Forgiveness as a solution to anger
Forgiveness is one of the best ways to deal with anger.
Wrath and anger are hateful things; yet the sinner hangs them tight (Sir. 27:30).
We sometimes hold onto anger because, strangely, we like it. Anger is a comfortable emotion, one that we are familiar with. Perhaps it raises our blood pressure and worries those around us, but often we feel like the angrier we become, the more likely we are to win an argument. It can make us feel powerful, righteous, or justified.
When we choose to forgive, we begin to free ourselves from anger’s grip and become more capable of looking at the situation calmly and objectively. We do not want to be ruled by anger in these moments, but rather we want to be fully in control of ourselves.
Just as forgiveness is a great response to anger, courage is a great response to fear. We see it in the reaction of the first responders to 9/11. When others were running away, they ran towards the danger in their efforts to rescue the injured and recover the dead.
The servant’s refusal to forgive reveals that he has not allowed mercy to change his heart. We are called to forgive, just as we have been forgiven. God’s mercy is meant to transform the way we deal with others. This message comes out clearly in the first reading and is a belief we repeat each time we pray the Our Father. Forgiveness doesn’t mean pretending that something wrong didn’t happen. It doesn’t mean that we should ignore injustice or fail to hold people accountable. Forgiveness means refusing to let someone else’s wrongdoing take possession of my heart.
Avoiding Emotional Manipulation
We should always be asking ourselves whether we are in control of ourselves and whether we are responding in a properly measured way, or if our emotions are being manipulated by someone else. The bishops remind us that in spite of conflicts around the world, we are called to be
Christ’s instruments of peace in an increasingly fractured and divided world. The building of peace in our country and around the world -- a mission that enables us to be called children of God1 -- is the great challenge of our time (Archbishop Paul Coakley, 9 September 2026).
We can feel like we are being righteous when we demand justice, like the man in the parable who seized a fellow servant and demanded the payment of a debt. Christ condemns the attitude because he had been forgiven much more. Anger can convince us that we are the judge and the other person is simply the guilty party. Jesus invites us to go deeper and to respond compassionately. Anger is a lousy leader because it narrows our field of vision.
When we recognize our own faults and that Christ has paid for our sins by dying on the cross, it changes the way we respond to the injuries we suffer.
Rather than pointing fingers, we become more concerned about how to heal the broken hearts we find around ourselves. The unforgiving servant received mercy but was unwilling to treat his fellow servant mercifully. The message of the Gospel is that we are all fellow servants and we owe mercy to one another.
The woman from the story of the mongoose let her emotions determine her actions and she killed the loyal mongoose. When we let anger determine our actions, we are apt to be just as rash and to make mistakes. The mongoose had done nothing wrong. The mother simply didn’t know the whole story. Because she allowed fear and anger to make the decision for her, she made a mistake she could not take back afterwards. Let’s learn to listen, observe, and understand before we react. Let’s not let anger lead us. Let Christ lead us.
What are some ways you deal with anger? Leave a comment.
I learned a lot from this article. Thank you, Fr. Sheehy.